Debunking the myth of adoption
Mustafa Chowdhury
Adoption, a process where a child is permanently cared for by parents other than the biological, is a widespread practice in many countries and cultures including Canada and Bangladesh. Figuratively speaking, there is no difference in the use of the term ‘adoption’ in Bangladesh and Canada. Both countries see adoption as a legally sanctioned procedure for ensuring that an adequate family life is provided to an orphan when parenting failure prevents the normal process. For orphans who cannot be with their biological families, adoptive placement offers the closest approximation of security that is available. The varying cultures, practices, legal systems and agency networks of Canada and Bangladesh, however, provide a different configuration of foster care, guardianship and adoption placements something that gives rise to misconception to the point that many westerners argue that Bangladeshis don’t practice adoption.
My reading suggests just the opposite. There are noticeable differences in policy and practices that reflect the differing traditions religious and social values with regards to adoption amongst Bangladeshis and Canadians. In Canada, adoption is seen as a positive benefit which must be sought for an orphan in need of a family; whereas, in Bangladesh, care within the child’s extended family, fostering or even institutional care in their own country are seen as better alternatives. In view of the Bangladeshi tradition, it is expected some close next of kin assumes the responsibility instead of an unknown family. Thus upholding the child’s right to be brought up by their own kith and kin, somewhat similar to long-term fostering in the western countries.
In Bangladesh, there are conflicting beliefs at the societal and cultural levels about adoption. Some believe it as a good deed to adopt, whilst some view it as a providential gift from Almighty for childless couples. A great bulk of people seems to prefer to have their “own” (biological) children to make a family. There is no legislation governing adoption in Bangladesh. Bangladesh shared with Pakistan the legislation promulgated prior to 1971, such as, the 1890 the Guardian and Ward Act and the Muslim Family Ordinance of 1911. Under this act, “guardianship” of a minor is permitted by a competent court if it is deemed to be “in the best interest of the child.”
Simply put, the Muslim law does not recognize adoption per se as it is understood in the western world. Death, illness and economic hardship of natural parents are generally the precipitators of “guardianship” amongst extended family members and foster care placements in orphanages or institutions. Important to note, the 1982 Guardian and Ward Amendments Ordinances prohibit granting guardianship of Bangladeshi children to non-Bangladeshi parents. Even in case of divorce or separation of a couple, there seems to be a variation on the parents’ right, philosophy and the notion of custody of the children involved. In the absence of a court order, in reality, children are deemed not be overly protected. Parents have a right to follow their own child-rearing practices. They tend to agree upon an arrangement mutually involving extended family members. Again, an agreed-upon arrangement does not seem to present a flagrant problem in the eye of the society either.
Historically speaking, adoption has been a matter of what is usually referred to as “informal” adoption whereby an orphan is taken into a home and raised as one’s own child, except that it is never legalized. Informal adoptions occur when a relative or stepparent assumes permanent responsibilities without a court involvement. Such placements are seldom or never arranged by a social agency; instead, they are done informally by relatives. The raison d’être, clearly, is not to alienate the child totally from the child’sown extended family in order to allow the child to satisfactorily meet his or her needs for his or her own emotional security with an assurance of protection in a milieu where there is a next of kin.
In a sense, Bangladeshis see such practice as sort of “guardianship” (as opposed to adoption that we see in Canada) that provides the security and presence of adoption without cutting off extended family members who are important to the child. However, legally recognized adoptions require a court or other government agency to award permanent custody of a child to adoptive parents. The “formal” adoption of a child is generally considered rather exceptional even by involuntarily childless couples in Bangladesh where informal adoptions are part of the country’s customs that date back to centuries.
There exists prejudice and/or discrimination against members of the adoption triad –biological parents, adoptive parents and children. Therefore, the very landscape of adoption in Bangladesh is different in that adoption is seen as a “paper” kinship in the absence of conception, creation, gestation and birth. In other words, being “chosen” or “selected for adoption” do not fit with cultural assumptions about parenthood in Bangladesh. Given the above social backdrop, naturally legal adoption, in the sense we understand it in Canada, is still relatively new in Bangladesh. For all practical purposes, “guardianship” of orphans had been rooted in the Bangladeshi tradition in which an adoptive family, which is usually an extended family, becomes the “guardian” of the child (generally an orphan).
By adopting a child, Muslim parents assume “guardianship” of an orphan, a foundling, and a poor or needy child of known or unknown lineal identity. The said parents cease to be the “guardian” of the child in question as and when the said child reaches the age of majority. Assumption of such responsibility for raising an orphan by uncles, aunts, cousins and distant relatives, however, may not fit the definition of “adoption” as it is understood in its legal sense in North America. Care within the child’s extended family, fostering, or even institutional care in their own country is seen as better alternatives. “Guardianship” is a preferred custom in Bangladesh as it does not legally impact on the relationship between child and family. The appointment of guardians has thus been a method for providing care, protection and supervision of the persons of minor age who are without natural guardians and for carrying on the administration of their estates. By bringing home a yateem (orphan), a couple may want to raise, educate and treat him or her as the couple’s own child having assumed his or her “guardianship.”
This would entail the responsible to protect, feed, clothe, teach and love the child as the couple’s own
child. However, the point to note here is that the real lineal identity or paternity of the child has to be
maintained. Most importantly, rights, that is, those rights reserved for one’s natural (biological) children
in the Shari’ah (Islamic law derived from the Quran and Hadith) should not be granted. In simple term,
Islam emphasizes the rescue of abandoned children without permitting adoption in the way we see it in
Canada. It is said that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is known to have encouraged
adoption as a social service and a humane act. The Prophet is esteemed to have said that the best house of
Muslims is one where an orphan is cared for. (The Quran has clearly directed the Muslims to maintain for
the adopted children the names of their fathers; and if their fathers are not known, then they should be
considered and called brethren in faith or the adopted children of the person concerned).
The naming of the child after its natural father is obviously to avoid possible psychological trauma the said child might face at a later stage in his or her life. While Islam does not prohibit adoption, the Islamic concept of adoption is, therefore, very different from that of its modern concept as it is understood and practiced in the western world such as, the U.S.A. and Canada. As observed, Islam’s stance on adoption rests on the necessity of keeping the biological parents of the child always in the picture. The key point to note here is that, while raising an orphan, changing the child’s identity and lineage for another untrue lineage is prohibited in Islam.
Simply put, the cultural norm in Bangladesh is ingrained with the identity at birth of a child. This is much unlike Canada, where, through formal adoption, the adoptive parents instantly become parents without giving birth. In Bangladeshi society, “blood relationship” is an enduring and unbreakable bond by which the entire relationship is measured. Adopted children don’t always fall into the same category since they are seen as not having a sense of true belonging for their lack of blood relationship. Due to different socio-religious culture, the people of Bangladesh are generally against adoption which is not part of the tradition.
The prevalence of the “ties of blood” is, therefore, of primordial importance in Bangladeshi society. The concept of adoption thus exists in Bangladesh as a cultural belief that birth families should be preserved at all costs and under all circumstances. Since the cultural norm in Bangladesh is to know who one’s parents are, the adoptive parents, that is, parents without giving birth, don’t seem to be looked upon by people in general as parents. From both social and religious points of view, child bearing within marriage represents the sine quanon of psychological and physiological normalcy in Bangladesh. In that sense, in Bangladesh, the values, principles, assumptions and practices with regard to adoption lack uniformity.
Again, in Bangladesh one’s status is assigned by family backgrounds. An individual’s status seems to diminish when one learns that the same individual’s family background is not known. The individual with an ambiguous family background seems to be of less social standing particularly if the individual’s birth history is unknown. In Bangladesh, there are also strongly held moral attitudes of disapproval for acceptance of a child of unknown origin. In a country where often poor parents accept servitude and obedience on the part of their children in return for economic security or simple personal safety, it is not surprising why abandonment continues generation after generation especially with regard to people who live in perpetual poverty.
Many Bangladeshis still look at adoption rather negatively. The adoptive parents are often seen as the exploiters of poor birthparents who often abandon their babies due to poverty believing that the babies would be better off if given away. This is much unlike the situation in Canada where an individual is known by what he or she does. In western countries, an individual acquires his or her status from his or her job rather than from his parents, adoptive or biological.
Adoption remains a problematic concept in Bangladesh, a phenomenon that is less typical and less clearly sanctioned. To the extent a child belonging to a family is assumed to be the product of biological reproduction and blood ties, adoption in Bangladesh remains a less valued way of generating family ties between children and adults. Many argue that because adoption makes families from persons who are not related through biological procreation, it deconstructs naturalized versions of family separating biological procreation from nurture.
To wrap it up, family members are encouraged to take responsibility of the child as opposed to allowing adoption of the child by a family unknown to the other party. It would be fallacious to state that Bangladeshis don’t practice adoption. Call it what you might, adoption or guardianship; Bangladeshis do take care of their orphans albeit in a different manner having conformed to their age-old traditions. Canadians’ misconception of adoption by Bangladeshis reminds us of Gertrude Stein’s famous quote: “A rose is a rose is a rose.” Let us not forget Shakespeare’s quote in the same vein: “What’s in a name? that which we call a rose would smell as sweet.”
