The Baby Shower
Shuja Rasheed
Ruma felt restless. It was already 1 in the afternoon and there were still things to do before the lady of the event showed up. This event was the result of a secret plan between her and three of her close friends- Shila, Lota, and Jeba. The four of them along with Mita – whose baby shower they had planned, had been friends since they came to Canada, about twenty years ago. They even had a private Viber group with a cheezy name –Friends in life and death.
Aged between 40 to 45, they all had two to three kids; some of them even attended University. Mita was the youngest at 40 and a mother of two daughters in their teens. Babies were not something that any of them lately talked much about. Mita’s pregnancy came as a total surprise.
“Chill, honey, chill!” Shila teased Ruma from the other end of the family room where she had been taping some decorative wall panels that she bought from a party store.
She surely wasn’t doing a great job as the panels looked a bit slanted but Ruma didn’t want to point it out. As long as they were on the wall, she was happy.
“We don’t have much time,” Ruma said worriedly. “Mita might show up any time.”
“Didn’t you ask her to come around 2?” Lota said from the other end of the room. She was working on taping a bunch of supersized paper letters on the wall that said ‘Happy Baby Shower to Mita’.
Jeba was placing helium balloons around the room. “We all know how she is,” she said. “There’s no telling if she would come an hour later or an hour earlier.”
“What did you tell Mita?” Lota asked. “Didn’t she get suspicious?”
“I told her I made some tamarind chutney,” Ruma smilingly said. “You know how much of a sucker she is for anything sour. Especially now.”
“True!” Shilla chuckled. “She can probably gobble up a whole bucket of it. Anyway, I need some help here. Where did the two girls go? Daisy! Zinnia!”
Daisy was her daughter, Zinnia Ruma’s–both twelve. They had taken refuge in Zinnia’s room and so far ignored any calls to help.
“According to them it is our friend’s baby shower,” Ruma said, “so we should be doing all the work.”
Lota chuckled. “These kids are so lazy. They would say anything to avoid work.”
“I am just happy that my kids are a bit grown up, lazy or not,” Shila said with a sigh of relief. “I just couldn’t take the early years. The diaper changes, force-feeding, constant observation, keeping them entertained…aargh!”
Lota giggled. “Don’t say all this in front of Mita. She would get upset.”
“I can’t figure out why she went for another one at this age,” Shila whined. “She already has two.”
“Well, we all drool over those cute little things!”Ruma said. “Who can blame her?
Lota took out her cell phone and started to film the decoration around the room. “Looks nice! Shila, your ones look a bit slanted.”
Shila scowled at her. “Who cares? Do I look like a professional interior decorator to you?”
Lota chuckled. “Just pointing it out. I am no good at it either. Hey, did you guys see the fruit platter I brought?”
“That looks great!” Ruma exclaimed. “The baby bassinet you made from watermelon, mashallah!”
“Cheater!” Shila scoffed. “She just copies them from YouTube.”
“Everybody does,” Lota protested. “You tried that too. The stroller you made from Cantaloup looked like a toilet bowl!”
Shila mockingly came at her with a fisted hand. “You want me to hit you? Say that again and I’ll put a toilet bowl on your head.”
Ruma and Jeba broke into laughter.
Lota playfully retreated. “You are on camera! Okay, I am heading toward the dining room. Let me film all the food before the pig shows up and gobbles everything up!”
They laughed hard. As they walked out of the family room Jeba said, “Did you see how she was gorging at the party in my house last weekend? Unbelievable!”
The short corridor leading to the dining room was decorated with colorful paper crafts. “Everybody noticed!” Lota said as she filmed both sides of the corridor.
“If she keeps on like that she’ll soon become an elephant!” Ruma said.
“Having a child at 40 can be stressful,” Shila said. “Maybe she is gorging to relieve the stress. But gaining too much can complicate childbirth. The problem is she is so sensitive about everything now! I just hinted at cutting back a little at Jeba’s party and she got so mad at me.”
“I know!” Jeba said. “She was screaming at you!”
“She was! Did I say anything wrong? During pregnancy, appetite grows. We all have gone through that. But she was already a fatso. Shouldn’t she have some control?”
“If she had any control she wouldn’t be a fatso,” Lota laughingly said. “She is becoming gigantic now. I don’t think I can put my arms around her anymore.”
“Girls, watch what you say in front of her,” Ruma warned. “I was with her on phone yesterday. She ain’t very happy with any of us. She was whining about how we don’t talk to her as often or visit her regularly. She is doubting our friendship, can you believe that?”
“Really? She said all that?” Jeba looked shocked.
“And a lot more. I promised not to share all of that. But in her current state, little things look bigger. I wouldn’t worry about that. “
“She is right about me,” Lota guiltily said. “I work long hours at the Bay. When I come home I don’t have the energy to talk to anybody. But Shila, why don’t you talk to her more often? You don’t even work.”
“Just because I don’t work doesn’t mean I am not busy,” Shila snapped. “You know I have a big extended family. There’s always something happening.”
“We all are busy, this way or that way,” Ruma said. “She knows that. Nobody asked her to get pregnant. We are all out of that phase of our lives and now here she comes, expecting all of us to roll over.”
“Exactly!” Shila echoed. “I got my own problems with growing kids. I don’t have patience for a sappy pregnant hippo!”
“Wait till I say her that you called her a hippo,” Lota jokingly said.
Shila charged at her. “Wait till I hit you, giggly moron!”
Lota laughed and ran into the dining room where she found a small crowd gathered around the large dining table jammed with varieties of traditional South Asian cuisine for baby showers. The crowd primarily consisted of common friends who arrived early for the surprise party. Among a handful of elderly women was Asma–Jeba’s mother. A widow for fifteen years she lived with her daughter’s family and was well-known for her expertise in making pithas. She brought a large platter packed with half a dozen different kinds of pithas. After filming them generously Lota turned her camera on Asma.
“Aunty, tell us how did you learn to make such amazing pithas? ”
Asma smiled. “My mom had a special reputation for making pitha. Whatever I know I learned from her. I tried to teach Jeba but she is not into these things.”
“She can make mashed potato!” Lota joked and set the camera on Jeba who had followed her along with Shilla and Ruma.
“That’s my specialty!” Jeba said with mock pride.
There was another large platter placed at the center of the table. Lota pointed her camera at this one next. This tray was neatly arranged with traditional spicy vortas–from mashed potato to mashed fire-burned eggplant, mashed boiled lintel to mashed cooked shrimps, and at least half a dozen others in that category. These spicy items are supposed to quench any expectant mother’s appetite.
Asma chuckled. “Big deal! You can barely cook!”
That brought out a burst of laughter from the crowd.
A middle-aged woman said, “After one or two generations in this country our pitha tradition may just die.”
“I hope not,” Asma said. “What else is here as good as our pitha? Just wait to see how Mita gobbles them up. She loves them, especially the one made of lintel and pure ghee!“
“Aunty, have you noticed how voraciously Mita is eating since she got pregnant,” Shila said. “Now that you made all these calorie bombs for her, she’d double up in no time.”
Asma protested over a lingering giggle in the crowd, “It happens during pregnancy. After childbirth, she would take it off.”
“I doubt,” Shila said. “She is so extreme! Be honest with me, Aunty, do you think she should have gone for another baby at this age?”
“A lot of women nowadays have babies at this age,” Asma said.
“Not when they already have two teenage kids,” Lota pointed out
“I just don’t think this was a good idea,” Shila said. “I don’t even have patience for my fourteen-year-old. Dealing with a baby? What happens when she wakes up in the middle of the night howling? The non-stop diaper changes, the feedings, the nagging crying – I surely can’t go through that anymore. I hope she can.”
“She can be here anytime,” Ruma said. “Please don’t say anything in front of her. She is already stressed. If she hears any of this she’ll go bonkers.”
“She doesn’t need us to go bonkers,” Shila said. “Anyway, let’s go to the living room and make sure everything is all set. Let’s go, camera girl!”
In the spacious living room, all the furniture had been moved to clear the center where an embroidered rectangular thick sheet was laid on the cushiony carpet with several pillows arranged in the middle creating a nice seating area for the expectant mother. All the gifts that the guests brought for Mita were put in one corner of the room, to be opened at the end of the party.
Ruma left her friends in the living room and walked around the house one more time to make sure everything was in order. All decorations were completed and the food was ready. She cooked mutton biriyani–Mita’s favorite. Now all that was needed was Mita’s royal ass to show up. She stopped the urge to call Mita to get an ETA fearing that might give away the surprise.
About five minutes later Zinia burst out of her room followed by Daisy, both looking pretty excited.
“She is here!” Zinnia screamed excitedly. “ She is here! Mom!”
On further questioning, they revealed that they had just seen Mita’s car being driven into the neighborhood. From her room, Zinia had a clear view of the road.
That instantly got everybody’s attention. Ruma had a glance outside to make sure that it was indeed Mita’s car. Once confirmed she quickly stepped back from the window and called everybody to line up next to the foyer. The idea was to give Mita a loud ‘Surprise!’ as soon as she stepped inside the house.
The kids led the pack with Ruma and her friends standing next followed by everybody else, in total about a dozen and a half people. Lota was all set to film with her cellphone camera focused on the door.
“Watch what you say in front of her!” Ruma warned her friends once more. “Especially you Shila. Don’t make her mad.”
“Drama queen!” Shilla rolled her eyes.
Minutes passed by but when there was no sign of Mita, Zinnia impatiently said, “Let me take a peek. Why is she taking so long?”
Ruma was getting impatient too. She didn’t object. Zinnia opened up the blind just a tiny bit to get a glimpse outside. She looked a bit confused as she stayed longer than expected at the window.
“What is going on?” Ruma asked.
“Mom! She is driving away!” Zinnia said with utter astonishment.
That caused a commotion as everybody sped to the nearby windows to get a glimpse of the departing car. Ruma saw the back of the car and readily knew it was Mita’s car. What just happened? She looked at her three friends.
“Maybe she left something at home and went to get it,” Lota suggested.
“Like what?” Jeba said. “Ruma, call her up.”
Ruma hesitated for a moment but eventually decided to make the call. Too much effort had been put into this program and she wasn’t about to let it all go in vain. She tried several times but got the voice mail every time.
“Either her phone is on mute or she is not picking it up,” she said in frustration.
“She just spoke to you a few hours ago,” Shila scoffed. “Her phone is fine. She is just going through another episode. Bipolar!”
They looked at each other and decided to wait, hoping Mita just might come back after taking care of whatever caused her to leave. When an hour went by and Mita neither returned nor called, they knew something very serious must have happened.
“Let’s go, find her,” Ruma sounded desperate as she tried to figure out what to do.
“Where should we look for her?” Lota asked.
“Let’s start from her home,” Jeba said.
“Yeah, the palace should be the first place to look for the queen,” Shilla bitterly said. “We did all this for nothing.”
When they were about to start, Ruma’s phone beeped. A text message. As she read the message Ruma’s eyes went from curious to confused.
“What is it? Is it her?” Shila asked.
Ruma nodded. “She just wrote – Check Viber.”
She navigated to Viber and accessed their group. Seconds later her face pale and grave she gave away a mild scream, “Lota!”
“What happened?” Lota nervously said. “What did I do?”
“What did you do?” Ruma snapped. “You moron! Look what you did.”
In the next few moments, it became crystal clear to everyone what had happened. Lota had posted the video she took just a little while ago inside the house in their Viber group. As Ruma played the clip they realized it captured everything that they said about Mita.
Lota turned white. “Oh my God! I wanted to send it to my work friends. I picked the wrong group. What should we do now?”
“We?” Shila fumed. “Say what should you do now? I want to put red ants on your body and watch you squirm and scream as they bite your little ass.”
Lota nervously giggled. “If that helps go for it.”
“What should we do?” Jeba asked Ruma.
Ruma sighed. There was only one thing to do. “Let’s grab the pitha and vorta platters and go to her house. Just four of us. The rest can party here.”
“She is going to kill us!” Lota mumbled.
“Not before I choke you to death!” Shila charged at Lota. Jeba and Ruma held her back. Lota giggled. “I am dead, either way!”
